The cards, flowers and help you’re given after losing someone close to you is sometimes incredible. And sometimes, families like to send thank you notes to the people who have been there for them. If you’re thinking of sending funeral thank you cards, here’s what you need to know.


Do you have to send funeral thank you cards?

No, not if you don’t want to. And you don’t have to write them right away if you do want to send them. There’s no official funeral thank you etiquette.

A lot of bereaved people find it hard to summon the emotional energy for writing thank you messages after the funeral. People will understand if you don’t reply or if you take your time.


Can someone else write them for me?

Absolutely! It’s okay to ask a friend or another family member to organise sympathy thank you cards and draft the messages for you too. You can always sign them, if you’d like.


Who might you want to send a thank you message after the funeral?

  • Friends and relatives who have sent cards, flowers, come to the funeral, or who have been extra-supportive.
  • Those who helped out at the funeral: people who gave speeches, carried the coffin, brought food to the wake and so on.
  • Someone who helped arrange the funeral, like your celebrant, minister, or any musicians who performed. Many people say thank you to the funeral director.
  • Someone who helped look after your loved one towards the end of their life.
  • People who made donations in honour of your loved one or helped you to pay for the funeral.
  • Volunteers from bereavement or health charities who have given you support.

Again, don’t feel obliged to send funeral thank you cards if it’s too much to face right now. Look after yourself.


What to say in a funeral thank you card

Again, you’re under no obligation to write funeral thank you card messages.

But if you do, we have some examples of funeral thank you card wording below to help you decide what to say. Feel free to edit or tweak them to work for your specific situation.


Sample thank you messages for condolences sent in cards

  • Thank you for your condolences and the lovely card you sent. Your kind words mean a lot to our family.
  • Your sympathy card was so kind and greatly appreciated. It means so much that you are thinking of us at this difficult time.
  • Your thoughtful letter made my day. I wanted to thank you in particular for the wonderful stories about Dad – I am so pleased that I can share them with my family.
  • Thank you: I was very touched to read your card. It was so nice to know that you were thinking of us.
  • Thank you for your thoughtful sympathy card. We are so grateful for your kindness and friendship.


Examples of funeral thank you messages for guests who attended 

  • Thank you for attending my mother’s funeral. It was a great comfort to see you there and it meant so much to our family.
  • It was lovely to see you and Rob at our Lucy’s funeral. You were always great friends to her and I know she would want us to thank you for your support.
  • I want you to know that I was really touched by what you said to me after the funeral. Hearing these stories about my dad, and about how much he was loved by his friends, is a bright spot for all of us at this difficult time. Thank you.
  • Thank you for being there for our family at mum’s funeral and for the thoughtful sympathy card. It was greatly appreciated.
  • Thank you for attending the funeral – we know you had to travel a long way and we are so grateful that you came.


Funeral thank you cards: messages for people who have helped you

  • I don’t know what I would have done without your strength and kindness behind me over these last few weeks. Thank you for being a wonderful friend.
  • Thank you for the lovely speech you gave about mum at her funeral. I know she treasured your friendship and it was clear in every word how much the two of you loved each other.
  • The meals you dropped off at the house after the funeral have been such a great help to us. Thank you for being there for us.
  • Thank you for looking after Theo and Oliver while we made the arrangements for their dad’s send off. It was so incredibly thoughtful and the boys just love you.
  • I can’t thank you enough for your kind words at my sister’s funeral. The stories you shared were everything that was great about her – it was a lovely tribute to the funny and generous person she was.
  • Thank you for the wonderful service for my husband, Kevin. Your eulogy really captured who he was, and the poem you chose was one that I know he would have loved.
  • Thank you for going above and beyond to arrange such a great send-off for George. I don’t know how we would have gotten through this time without your help and support.
  • Thank you for being there for Brian and I in his last days. I will always remember your kindness and compassion.


Examples of thank you notes for funeral flowers or donations

  • Thank you for the beautiful flowers you sent for mum’s funeral. Roses were one of her favourite flowers and I know she would have loved them.
  • Thank you for the wonderful bouquet you sent to the house, it was such a thoughtful gift. Your kindness won’t be forgotten.
  • The flowers are lovely – thank you. It was a great comfort to see dad’s favourite daffs on the kitchen table this morning. Thank you for thinking of it.
  • Thank you for your generous donation in Mary’s memory. [Charity] was a cause very close to her heart, and we greatly appreciate your support.
  • We were so pleased to hear about your generous donation in honour of gran. [Charity] have been a great help to us in the last few years and I know gran would have wanted us to thank you for helping them look after other families like ours.


For more help after the funeral…

After the funeral, there’s still a lot of admin to sort out. There’s an inheritance to pass on, bank accounts to close, land registry records to update, taxes to pay and more.

If you’d like a hand with all this estate administration, Beyond can help. We offer a fixed-price service that covers anything you want done, whether that’s just a grant of probate or all the little things. We’ll sort everything, so that you can focus on taking care of yourself and your family.

To find out more and get your no-obligation quote, call 0800 054 9896.

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